² For [the Servant of God] grew up before Him like a tender plant, and like a root out of dry ground; He has no form or comeliness [royal, kingly pomp], that we should look at Him, and no beauty that we should desire Him.

³ He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness; and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him.

⁴ Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy].

⁵ But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole.

Isaiah 53:2-5 ampc

I’m a member of several groups on Facebook designed for Stroke Survivors. I love the people in those groups….many have it much worse than I do.

Sometimes it’s incredibly comforting to know I’m not alone.

After losing my husband in a brutal car accident,  I  scoured the stroke groups, looking for other relatively young people who had also lost spouses. But I couldn’t find any.

Although I know that’s really a GOOD thing, it made me feel extremely alone.

No one can know how difficult EVERYTHING is after many strokes….

Or how taxing it is to help children with homework, break up sibling fights, or comfort your babies who have so much trauma to work through…

Or how painful it is to actively strive to heal from YEARS of trauma, or to miss the only person you’ve ever loved….

AND make dinner every night,  keep a decently clean house, and all the other “regular things” most people need to do daily.

In fact, after writing all of those things, I  need a little nap!🤣🤣

That little boat in the picture?

It’s the perfect way to describe how it feels most days.

I just want someone who knows my pain!

Anytime I feel this empty place in my heart, the place for a best friend who’s been where you are….

I read Isaiah 53.

In it, my Best Friend seems to stand up….in order to

STAND OUT in the crowd….

Reminding me that He was

Rejected…

Mocked…

Afflicted by UNIMAGINABLE PAIN…

Hated…

Betrayed…

Slandered…

Deeply insulted….

Abandoned…

Unappreciated…

Degraded…

Oh, and MURDERED!

Sigh.

That’s quite the list.

No one’s list of wrongs will EVER be Jesus’s list.

I can never say that I am alone in this pain, heartbreak, illness, betrayal, slander, assault, and loneliness.

And the crazy thing is Jesus endured ALL of it in order to win our love, our adoration, our allegiance….

To win US!

My little boat might be overtaken by the waves,

And it might feel really really lonely,

But that’s okay.

The Maker of oceans is WITH me.

He’s so much better than a Facebook group!

Isaiah 53 says He is no stranger to grief,

But He also bears

MY grief,

My tears,

My stress,

My fears,

My worries,

And my broken heart.

He’s here,

In this little boat…

WITH me.