I didn’t really expect this.
Tomorrow’s supposed to be “my day”.
I don’t have to be sad at EVERY holiday, do I???
I really do.
I try to think of how AMAZING my children are.
They totally are!
Macy and Micah are super compassionate kids, and both have a knack for sarcasm, for which I’d like to take credit.
And they both really and truly LOVE me.
Almost as much as I love them. It’s a huge competition around here…
“Who loves who more?”.
If I could let it stay right there, I’d be fine.
I could THINK about Mother’s Day without crying….
If I could….
If I could think about tomorrow WITHOUT thinking about one of the main reasons why I’m a mom in the FIRST PLACE….
If I could think about Mother’s day without thinking of their daddy,
That would be great.
But I can’t.
When I was in labor with Macy, he was my partner. His was the hand I squeezed through every contraction.
His was the face I saw, with tears flowing down his cheeks,
When he carried her over to my face so I could see my daughter for the very first time.
He said Macy had “strong legs”, because Jeremy noticed she was kicking wildly when they pulled her out of me.
He said she had fire.
And he was right.❤
I can’t think about Mother’s day without remembering how fast the contractions started to come immediately after church that Sunday, with our second child.
On the way home, Jeremy knew this baby was COMING!
And he said to me, a fellow “foodie “, “If we’re going right to the hospital, you KNOW they won’t let you eat.
….,Do you wanna get a sandwich?” 😂😂😂😂
I love that memory.❤
You didn’t mess with either one of us, when it came to food.
Well, just a few hours later, Jeremy was holding his brand new son.
He had so much joy that day.
He thanked me for the gift of his children.
I thanked him, too.
Every Mother’s day since my kids were born, Jeremy went
He wrote letters to me, telling me I was a great mom, and how much he loved me.
He never failed to deliver on Mother’s day.
I wish I could stay in bed tomorrow….
I wish I didn’t have to feel the absence of his love tomorrow…
Or ANY day, really.
But I have to get out of bed..
I have two kids depending entirely on me to do so!
They will have gifts and letters…
And I will love them, as always.
But it will never be the same.
And that’s GOT to be okay with me.
Jeremy is gone.
But he left me with the VERY BEST PIECES OF HIS HEART!!
Macy and Micah.
And I will truly treasure his most extravagant gifts EVER!!
On this day, and on every day we have together..,
The three of us.
We might be sad tomorrow, but we will ALWAYS be grateful.
And we will ALWAYS be
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. Therefore I also have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord.” So they worshiped the Lord there.
1 Samuel 1:27,28