A good friend of mine made the following statement the other day:

“Don’t make this pain about you.”

Most of us would probably have something to say about that.

“It’s MY body that is beat up.”

“It’s MY heart that is breaking.”

“It’s MY marriage that’s falling apart.”

“It’s MY family that’s going through this.”

“It’s MY children who are gone.”

“What do you mean, “don’t make this pain about me”??????????

It’s the easiest thing in the world to make the bad stuff that happens to me, about


It turns out it’s very difficult to look at the big picture of pain.

To value the fact that our lives touch OTHER lives….

To realize what is going on in YOU might be for the purpose to change or challenge OTHERS…

Or to conclude that our pain might in some way glorify the Father.

When Jesus suffered…

To HIM , it wasn’t about Him, but His heart and mind totally made it about US.

So, it makes sense that OUR sufferings should not be about us,

But Him!

MY healing isn’t all that God cares about.

My happiness in this life is actually NOT one of His major goals!

I have a friend named Pam. She has a son who was incarcerated around the age of 19. He was charged with something minor, a charge which most would receive probation. Somehow, along the road other charges piled up, some of which were not his doing.

Bottom line:

He spent TEN years in prison!!

He was recently released, which was something our church had prayed about for years and years.

Imagine that.

Your firstborn son, your baby, has now been locked up with drug dealers, murderers, and rapists.

The one who, when he was a baby, you worried might swallow a penny, was now far away, and there was absolutely NOTHING you could do to protect his body or his heart from all the pain he was going to face.

Mother’s do NOT like to be helpless!!

It’s one of the worst feelings in the world for ANY mother.

But for Pam, I imagine that wound is deep.

Wait guys!

That’s not the end of the story!

During the last ten years, Pam began working with a prison ministry with young female inmates.

She has witnessed MANY come to know Christ. She gets to pray with these girls, pour her love into them on a regular basis.

I’m sure Pam had many dark days during those ten years.

Despair and worry for her son’s safety and well being probably consumed her some nights.

But she worked tirelessly with young women.

Maybe she couldn’t touch her son, but she could touch these women.

So, she DID!

Pam didn’t stay stuck…

She used her broken heart to help OTHERS.

She did not make her pain about HER.

I think she knew God had MUCH in store for her because of her pain.

He has the same bright and shining, God-glorifying plans in store for us, when we decide to unfold from the fetal position of pain, and embrace the fact that THIS PAIN…

This terrible, torturing pain is about so much more than just me or just you!!

God has crazy, mighty, INSANE ways of using our little, private pain to defeat the Enemy….

And to increase God’s great and amazing glory!!!

that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Philippians 3:10

Therefore I endure all things for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. This is a faithful saying: For if we died with Him, We shall also live with Him. If we endure, We shall also reign with Him. If we deny Him, He also will deny us. If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.

2 Timothy 2: 10

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.

2 Corinthians 1:3-11

It’s Not About You!

11 thoughts on “It’s Not About You!

  1. Thank you for sharing Pam’s story! What a good lesson! And thank you for reminding us that Jesus went to the cross for us and how this relates to this lesson. He is our Supreme Example. I want to be more and more like Him every day! 🙂

  2. This is a great post. It reminds me of a friend of mine whose son was incarcerated for 7 years for a crime he didn’t commit. However, while in prison, he led 7 to the Lord. God Bless!!

  3. Oh yes, mother’s don’t like to feel or be helpless!
    Thank you for the challenge to use the heartache in my life to push me forward to help others.
    This is why write on my blog. To share my life, my faithful God and the Grace He gives me everyday.

  4. I too, knew Pam Rodney, not closely, but enough to see her heart. And this. Your 2018 post, I needed this day….this day. Thank you Pami. Play on. It’s beautiful ❤️

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s