I’m there right now.
I’m in that dark place…
That place that is black, and cold…
I don’t much like company when I’m here,
In that dark place.
So, I hide.
And I try to not answer the “How are you?’s”,
Because you can never be sure they really want to know.
So, it’s just easier to stay inside, and
“Keep it to yourself.”
Did anyone else grow up hearing those words?
If you were feeling anything less than FANTASTIC, you were hushed with
“Keep it to yourself.”
No wonder we don’t know how to share the dark and twisty places of
But I AM learning that there is One who knows…
One who never gave a glib answer because He didn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable.
There is One who will crawl into that crazy, tar-colored tunnel…
Just to BE with us.
To hear what our hearts desperately want to say.
God holds us in His hand until the pain stops,
And then He holds us some more.
We break sometimes.
We lose pieces of ourselves as we walk through this life…
Like breadcrumbs dropped along the way,
Praying SOMEBODY finds us.
Well, Somebody DID.
AND He’s the best Somebody out there.
He doesn’t want any of us sitting alone in the dark.
That’s why He climbs in WITH us.
Because He loves us in an otherworldly,
Unearthly kind of way.
He brings light where there is none,
Shelter when we’re beaten.
I don’t think I’m ever going to understand His love for me.
And I’m okay with that.
I’m okay with being utterly LOST in His love…
Not knowing where He ends,
Or where I begin.
I’m okay with not understanding how He can love me,
Exactly like this.
Whenever I’m in this place, I will work on being as honest as I can….
But I will remember that God is the only One who will NEVER leave me,
Never walk out.
He’s the Somebody I can’t even see.
He’s the Somebody who never looks away from my mess.
He’s the One who calls it “beautiful”.
We are ALL so very broken….
And all we really want is for somebody to say,
“I SEE you.”
“In all your sin, sorrow, pain, and shame,
I see you…and I’ve got you.”
That’s all we want somebody to say…..
That’s all we want somebody to do.
How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures. For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light.