My friend, Sarah, who I’ve mentioned a couple of times before wrote something pretty profound once about prayer.
You see, she had lost her second child just hours, or mere minutes after she was born. And she knew her daughter would most likely die at the 20 week appointment.
So, she had to LIVE with that news, and all the tragic thoughts surrounding that for almost ANOTHER 20 weeks!
Sarah had her baby, Evie,
And she passed away.
Sarah went on to have a healthy baby about a year or two later.
Then, Sarah was pregnant again.
But this time the news at the 20 week appointment was the same as it was for little Evie.
She knew she was facing the death of ANOTHER of her precious babies.
I won’t get into all the heartbreaking details here, but I DO want to talk about something she wrote. She had this to say about how she was praying somewhere in the middle of those last 20 weeks:
“All too often my prayers are, ‘Lord, please just … I don’t know. Just … the best.’ “
So many times, all I really want to pray for is the thing I simply want most.
NOT the thing that would be ultimately the BEST thing for my life, or anybody else’s…
Just what I WANT.
After many years of struggle, and the knowledge building in my soul that Jesus is my anchor and my very best friend,
I’m not sure that what I WANT is truly what I NEED anymore.
I’ve heard a lot of preaching on this subject, and it leaves me feeling it’s okay to pray for what we want.
I mean, there are tons of examples in the Bible of people who came to Jesus for healing for themselves, or for someone they love, and they asked for something they WANTED.
And God said yes.
So, there is definitely room for those kind of prayers.
But there is a deep, scarred wisdom of my friend’s prayer for “just….the best” that reminds me of ANOTHER wise Person’s prayer:
Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come.
Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen
“YOUR WILL be done.”
I’m not that wise.
I usually have no idea how to pray for MYSELF, let alone anyone else!!!
I know I don’t want pain,
I know I don’t want heartbreak,
I know I don’t want to be sick….
And I don’t want any of the people I love to ever have any of those things, either.
What if those things are the VERY TOOL He plans to use to bring people….people you may also LOVE, to Himself?
That changes EVERYTHING!!!!
There are days when I can only see ME.
What I WANT.
Like a little child.
Sometimes I feel like I can’t be trusted to ask Him ANYTHING,
Because there’s still too much “me” in me.
But I DO know what I sincerely want, when I’m thinking of how much I am loved by God…
I want just….
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16