I was having breakfast with a very close friend and mentor of mine this week. And she said something that shook me.

I mean, it was something I already knew,

but it was in the way that she said it….

Wow. The weight of it.

She said, ” You know, your situation may never change. It may never improve. It could stay just this way….

For the rest of your life.”

I guess I hadn’t thought about the length of time I might have to endure things being painful, strained, and…just plain hard.

How long I would have to feel “not at home” in my home.

How long I would have to love without getting much in return.

How long I would have to be in physical pain and physical weakness.

For the rest of my life.

Maybe you’re like me.

Maybe you’ve lost something or someone….

And now you have to be without that thing or that person…

For the rest of your life!

Is there anything more daunting than that????

Well, it’s going to require that I sit close to Jesus for the “rest of my life”, if I’m going to make it!!

He’s going to have to be my Home.

He’s going to have to be my peace in the middle of pain.

One thing have I desired, my God, of Thee,

That will I seek: Thine house be home to me.

I would not breathe an alien, other air;

I would be with Thee, O Thou fairest Fair.

For I would see the beauty of my Lord,

And hear Him speak, who is my heart’s Adored.

Amy Carmichael

When I read Amy’s words, I cry.

The things God has to do to make me seek Him and WANT Him!

I wish I wasn’t this way

So stubborn and full of myself.

But NOW, God being my Home is such a comfort to me.

I’ve been insulted, wrongly blamed, and often felt unloved.

I’ve been struck down in my body over and over again.

And without a miracle, these things will all continue

For the rest of my life.

So, I NEED to see Jesus as my Home,

My Place where I’m always welcome, loved, and SEEN.

Please Jesus,

Be my Home.


7 thoughts on “Home

  1. PamiJo, I hope you can feel RIGHT NOW that special, inimitable feeling called Empathy. Just for a sec, realize that, at least in our minds, and for any number of days weeks months years, at least one other person has felt this. Hold hands!!! ❤

  2. Yeah, revelation of truth always exposes the areas we want to hold back. Absolute surrender to the LORD sounds good, but the actual letting go of ideas and dreams, is hard. I had a similar experience when we sat with my husband’s Oncologist, who used words like: lifespan of five years maybe ten years—who knows? The harsh reality that what we want may never be is a hard barrier to scale…but yes, yes, yes, making our home in the LORD is better still! Thanks for sharing your heart…praying with you for fullness, healing, and so much more. Blessings!

    • Thank you! It sure sounds like you’re a pro at this kind of thinking! I’m sorry for all you and your husband have been going through! But there are always great lessons in the hard stuff, I know.❤

  3. This post sompricked my heart to the point of conviction. I can be so full of myself too. We call can. The question really does become “what idea nothing changes, will I still love and seek Him with all my might?” Am I even doing it now? Wow! You’re an excellent writer and God has touched you in a way that makes people think. You make room for the Holy Spirit to do His work in our heart. I do pray things get better for you..and all of us, but if they don’t God remains faithful. Don’t know you, but I love you for what you’ve made me ponder this morning.

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