Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.
It was morning sometime in June, 2011, which was around one month after my first stroke. Back then, I was still dealing with what had just happened to my life, and trying to figure out what was left of it.
I remember I woke up around five one morning, got out of bed and looked out our front window. The sloping, green grass of our yard looked so beautiful. I went out in my pajamas, long before my kids woke up. I walked out on our lawn in my bare feet, feeling the cool dew between my toes. Then, I laid down on the grass, wetness and all, and stared at the sky. The sun was just starting to come out, and soon I found myself crying. I remember asking God to restore me. And what I meant by that, I think, was I wanted Him to return all my memories that were lost, and return all the other functions that were now gone.
But whether I knew it or not, He DID begin to restore me. Not the way I had originally wanted Him to…but better!
Isn’t that how we are sometimes? We would settle for so much less than what He plans to give us, just so that we could avoid fear or pain! Yes, He could have given me back my memories, and my cognitive abilities. But instead, He gave me His presence in my darkest days, reassurance that He would provide for me, peace in knowing Him, and His strength to keep moving forward. Those are some VERY precious gifts!!
Like the verse above, He wants the chance to refresh us, to cause us to blossom!
When I think back on that morning, He was beginning to do just that in my life. Because of the pain, compassion started to blossom inside of me. And when I desperately needed, it, He found a way to refresh and mend my broken heart, like that dew He promises.
He restores so much more than we even know to ask for. And for that, I am so thankful!