There is one thing I’ve learned about marriage. That part during the wedding when the couple unites their candles into one larger, beautiful flame…there is nothing more meaningful in the ceremony than that, to me. Not the words, not the pretty songs, but those candles.
I now know that it means when one is in the fire, you both are. When one is successful, you both are. When one is angry, you both are. You both are in pain together. You are both tired together. Husbands and wives breathe their air into the other one’s lungs all the time.
I would give anything to reverse what happened two years ago, and continues to happen, for BOTH of us. I am not getting better…slowly getting a little worse, in fact. My pain, I have breathed continuously into my husband’s lungs and heart. His anger, denial, and sad acceptance I have breathed in from him.
Sometimes I feel like we are hanging onto to everything, marriage included, by the thinnest of threads. But I realized recently, we are the same candle. What happens to me, happens to him. And I would do better to speak life into him, BREATHE life into him, instead of the anger, frustration that we both have been breathing into each other.
I don’t want to be a tiny, little flickering birthday-type candle. I want us to be a torch! Strong and fierce!
With God’s hand holding mine, and with Him breathing all of who He is into me, I will not let that fire go out. Instead, I’m going to fan the flame!!!
Ecclesiastes 4: 12
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.