Help Me Understand!

Do you ever want to ask what a verse in the bible really means, but you don’t because it’s such a famous and simple verse and you don’t want to look like an idiot??  It happens to me all the time theses days. And not because I had a stroke.  I’m asking questions now, because of everything I’m facing, I really want to understand the promises He makes, and I want to know what these promises look like.

For example, look at the following verse with me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

9 And he hath said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for [my] power is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

This verse was not only confusing me…it was angering me!  You see, I have never felt weaker in all of my life, and I ask (no, beg) Him to give me the power to be victorious through all of it.  And you know what?  In my eyes, nothing was happening.  Nothing was changing!  I still felt weak…useless…powerless.  Did I expect He would come upon me like a double dose of Red Bull and a couple shots of steroids?  It made me feel like I wasn’t asking correctly, and then it made me feel like maybe He’s not listening.  Then, the worst thought I had was that maybe He just didn’t love me enough.

You see, I don’t want  my faith to change my outside.  That is no longer good enough for me!  I want to FEEL it, to KNOW it…to know His power all over me.  I can’t even really explain it…

But I had someone explain that verse to me in a way that made sense to me.  He said, “if you’re looking for super-human strength to come out of your prayer, you’re probably not ever going to get it.  But you ARE receiving His power every day, because you survive each of those days you don’t think you ever could.”  (Paraphrased a little..my memory is not that great!)

The thing is, He DOES love me.  He DOES answer me.  And he DOES show up for me every time I ask out of true need.  I guess I’m not much different from the pharisees who could not accept Jesus was who He said He was…because they expected a warrior, a warrior who would fight an actual battle against their enemies and would come out victorious.  They couldn’t accept Him in the package He came in.  I don’t want to have false expectations of Jesus.  Because what He does accomplish through me, and everyone who loves Him, on a daily basis is pretty darn amazing!

Just one more thought about His love for us….Do you think it could be possible for God to so completely love you that He sent His only son to die the worst of deaths and still love you enough to want to be with you every day of your life, and then not care what becomes of you, the one for whom He gave everything He had to gain?

I don’t.

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