Dear Marcia

1 John 1:9 NIV

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
     I’ve been thinking alot about a childhood friend of mine lately.  It actually started in November when she surprised me with a very sincere note of apology for some childhood things I barely remember.  And she is an atheist.  I’ve thought alot about her, especially in light of all the controversial things Christians have gotten themselves into lately, things which don’t really reflect anything Jesus would’ve stood for.  So, I wrote her a letter and I’m sharing it with you today.  Remember my earlier post about putting yourself in other’s shoes?  Well, put yourself in mine, okay?

Dear, Marcia,

You’ve been on my mind and heart ever since you sent that note to me, apologizing for things that happened when we were literally just children.  That note meant so much to me…not because I held onto to any of those events, because I haven’t.  It meant something to me because here is ( can I say this?) an atheist, asking for my forgiveness about things which happened a lifetime ago,and I know several “Christians” (self-proclaimed or genuine: not for me to decide) who have purposely, in their adult life, done and said very hurtful, damaging things and will probably never come to me with any sort of apology, and certainly not one as sincere as yours.

So, as I’ve been thinking about you, and the things you’ve said which indicate you don’t believe in God, I realize a couple of things.  The first one is this.  Atheists are less about not believing in something, but probably more about not trusting.  If I’m wrong, please tell me.  It’s just that most people who say they are atheists usually will soon tell you about an event (or a person, or both!) which turned them away from God in one way or another.

And the second thing is that I’ve realized I owe YOU  an apology.

I’m sorry for never really being an example of what it means to look and  BE like Jesus, in my words or my actions.  I’m sorry for sometimes laughing when the crowd was laughing, at someone’s expense.  I’m sorry for not being brave in my faith as I should have, and as I wanted to….

I apologize for every time I swore or did other things that were disrespectful and enmeshed me further into the things of this world, and only widened the gap between God and myself. 

I’m sorry, too, for all the times I supported decisions or policies, not thinking of how it was offensive or hurtful to you.

And I am so sorry for all the times I sat down with the crowd instead of standing up alone.  My heart breaks for all the times I may have had an opportunity to share who Jesus is with you, but instead chose the cowardice of silence.

I do sincerely apologize to you and to everyone else who knew me back then, and now, too.  So, this time I hope YOU can forgive ME.

 

With the deepest of regrets,

Pami

Challenge:

Look back at your life and see if one of these notes, or maybe many of them, is needed to be written.  Then write it.  Then….send it!!  If we all took the time to admit our mistakes to those who are placed in our lives, it can only bring about healing.

3 thoughts on “Dear Marcia

  1. Will you please write one about those who condemn you for something you did not do? How does one apologize to these? I really mean this. At this moment, I cannot think of anything more paralyzing than slander. I really can’t. If you don’t write it, I will – and, I have an audition to prepare. Which is more important. I wonder. Thanks for your insightful writing. You are a gift.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s